by Martha June

I did not think I would wait this long before writing another blog post. I had every intention of writing this sooner, but here we are.

Blogging requires consistency, something I cannot claim, my words do not come easily these days.

It has just dawned on me that I have focused too much on my own words, and what I want to say, instead of asking God what He wants to say through me. I find myself busier than I have ever been and full of excuses for my lack of faithfulness to what is important in my life. I no longer want to make excuses. It is time to speak truth and life over the struggle. It is time to combat the father of lies with the God of truth.

For the last two months, the word welcome has been on my mind. I was reminded by a pastor at my church of the significance of this word relating to life with Jesus. During my childhood perhaps the moments I remember most are those where I felt unwelcome. The idea of rejection and feeling like the oddball is a feeling everyone on earth has experienced.

I used to let these moments shape my self-esteem. Sometimes I still do. But no more.

Yes, this is another post on identity. Typing my struggles on this blog will not solve my problems, but covering these insecurities with Jesus truth is a step in the direction of healing.

For so long I have fixated on what I think other people’s opinions are of me. It hurts to be this transparent, but it is an ugly truth in my life. In reading about my personality type (INFJ) listed under flaws is the word “perfectionist.” Ouch. I know this to be true. I have become self-absorbed, hurting me, and the people around me. And it all stems from requiring perfection in myself.  Setting this unattainable standard leaves me feeling empty.

Have you ever found yourself caught in the hamster wheel of performance?

Telling yourself that your worth is based on your level of perfection?

This is such a dangerous place to be, and it is a place that will lead to anxiety, depression, and worry. After all, if you make yourself your god, you will be in for a mess of disappointment.

Having done this, I unfortunately know from experience.

So here is where I found myself. For too long I have left this sin under the rug, sweeping it away and saying “there is nothing wrong with wanting to be my best.”

Yes pursue excellence, but not above God.

Because of this realization, I felt like I would be  unwelcome in the presence of God. I felt a weight on my shoulders that had worn me thinner than a blade of grass.

Have you been there?

Do not ever believe this lie, my friend. Nothing could be further from the truth.

If you can relate to any of this, I have some great news.

Here is the beautiful truth-

Your worth is not defined by your performance.

Neither is God’s love and acceptance of you based on how messy or cleaned up your life is.

So take off your shoes, put on your comfy pants, and release your weight at the doorway of grace. You are welcomed by God, imperfection and all.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 

“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:20-24

(also Romans, am I right?)

Here is the bottom line,

God loves you.

He loves you in spite of your sin.

He loves you when you haven’t showered.

He loves you on your bad days as well as your good ones.

He wants you in the middle of your mess,

in your frustration over fickle people.

You are welcome and wanted in the eyes of God.

And not just welcomed, but embraced with grace, love, and mercy.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:8-10 

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 

How lovely it is to know and serve a God who loves all and wants all.

You are welcome here. This doorway of grace is open to all who are willing to surrender their life to Jesus. Choose surrender, and be welcomed into the family. You will be so thankful you did.

Sincerely,

writing for Maria, who inspires me.

p.s adding this link after posting because my pastor deserves credit. This is the sermon I referred too if you feel like watching. Thanks Nikomas for the reminder & inspiration.