by Martha June

Dear Fear,

If you go back to some of my first memories as a child, you will find we are WELL ACQUAINTED. In fact, you have been a constant in my life from the get-go. I say this all with sorrow. For too long fear we have been close, neither wanting to let go.  If you go back to even my early blog posts, you were plaguing me with thoughts I felt compelled to write on a page. You have been my hardest battle I just can’t seem to win. But fear, I have realized something.

You don’t help me.

You don’t strengthen me.

You don’t ever work out in my favor.

And you most certainly don’t bring me comfort.

In fact, it makes me wonder why I have such a struggle with you in the first place. You have become my default, my speed-dial, and many things I never intended you to be.  What I thought was a strong suit has become my handicap. The closer to graduation I get, the more you taunt me. Whenever I let myself dream, you stop me dead in my tracks. You claim yourself a friend fear.

I claim you an enemy.

You claim yourself a necessity.

I claim you an accessory.  (And not just any accessory! You are ugg sandals, ugly, and wanted by nobody.)

You claim my mind as your mansion.

Well, fear it’s demo day.

Because fear, guess what?

I have found someone who helps me.

I have found someone who strengthens me.

I have found someone with a plan for my life and is happily guiding me through it.

And I have found someone who comforts all my fears and failures.

Sweet. Sweet. Jesus. My savior, God, Friend, encourager, teacher, almighty creator, healer, and dream orchestrator.

Oh, I know fear. I can’t just say we are done. You and I both know this goes deeper than that. But it is a start. And you know what? “*Do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” 

“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the name of The Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” -Psalm 18:2-3

“He brought me into a broad place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” -Psalm 18:19

“He made my feet like the feet of a dear and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.” -Psalm 18:33-34

“I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be put to shame.” -Psalm 34:4-5

“And I will lead the blind in a way they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into a light, and the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16

  Oh, fear.

You thought you could hold onto me forever.

You’re dead wrong.

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” -Romans 8:31

One day I will realize you have disappeared from my life. Only through Christ can I be rid of your lies and panic. Thank goodness for Christ. Because he fears? Well, he beat you years ago on top of Calvary.

I would say I’m going to miss you. But we both know I won’t.

Bye Felicia.

Sincerely,

weak. But made stronger only with Christ.

*Zechariah 4:10