by Martha June

Yall can I be vulnerable for a minute? This week has been a little rough. The Lord has convicted me concerning parts of my life where I have not been glorifying or surrendering to him. I have been faced with my sin, and friends it is oh so ugly. Being faced with the ugliness of my sins is one of the hardest things for me to go through because seeing me as I am without the change Jesus brings is heartbreaking.

If we are honest, I think our world today especially Christians are really good at “putting up an image.” Acting as if nothing goes wrong in our lives, putting up the image of perfection. We are getting too wrapped up in how “godly” we are and trying to prove we are the ultimate Christian because we are a “good person.” Through conversation, social media, you name it we have done it.

I am included in this.

If I am honest I am nowhere near perfect. I apologize if that is how I am portraying myself because that was not my intention. If I am honest I am a hypocrite, saying one thing, yet out of the same mouth contradicting what I believe. Just because I am a self-proclaimed Christian doesn’t mean  I have all the answers, it doesn’t promise I won’t mess up, or say things that sound hateful and regret it later.

Have you been there?

If I’m honest I mess up all the time, procrastinate, and don’t appreciate everything my wonderful parents are doing to encourage me through life. If I’m honest I sometimes yell at my siblings and judge others who I have no right to judge. If I’m honest concerning my sin, I am no better than any teen sitting in juvie.

If I’m honest.

The Lord has been getting “honest” with me this week…and it is painful. And honestly, sometimes I wish he wouldn’t. There are moments where my sinful nature takes over and I just want to sit comfortably never changing for the better. Jesus never promised me that I would never have consequences…BUT he did promise “never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

He promised that “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears of today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the power of hell can separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:38) Jesus’ unconditional love is not an excuse to sin, but a comfort to us imperfect humans who will fail, that no matter what he will love us.

Thank you sweet sweet Jesus!

That moment Jesus willing died on the cross for all, he knew that someday Martha June would sin and be separated from God. Yet even though I would and am failing him, he says I STILL LOVE YOU.

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resist his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

For those who are going through something similar….though I cannot offer you comfort…I can offer you hope. The hope that no matter what you’ve done or will do, that despite your sin Jesus will always love you. When you are facing the consequences of your sin, he reminds us that he disciplines those he loves.

He also says this: “For it is by GRACE given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” (Romans 12:3 ESV)

This could be a moment for you like it is for me, that The Lord is showing you “do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.” All we can do is learn dear friends and hope that Christ is changing us and molding us for eternity someday.

In the end, Grace wins and I could not be more thankful for The Lord’s  grace and new mercies every morning.  “Though my sins are scarlet…he has made them white as snow.”

sincerely,
a sinner saved by grace and grace alone